Untitled

Weeks ago, I had thought of something particularly unsettling on the 101, and it was something about Race.

My observation has since eluded me. I hoped to stumble across it again after I retraced my thoughts, but it appears that at least this time, my mental foot-chase is in vain.

I'm no sociologist, anthropologist, or any other expert on culture and race. I can only speak about what happens to me, and what I perceive to be happening to others.

A quick query of my memory library tells me I've been a victim of malicious racism only once. It was at a YMCA camp: Camp Oaks; some white kids called me all sorts of names, and cracked jokes at the expense of my Chinese culture (they were mistaken of course, since I am Korean-American). I don't remember too much else, other than me crying and running to my friend Robin to warn him of the bullies.

Fast-forward. I grew up in a very Asian part of Orange County. I graduated from a very Asian university. When I looked outside my car window, I was used to seeing various shades of yellow. Thrust me into a group of beautiful white women, and watch me hesitate and wallow in self-doubt. Now, throw me into a pool of beautiful Asian women, and watch a professional go to work.

Since Camp Oaks, I've been a victim of ignorant racism many times. Apparently, I forget I have narrow eyes with single eyelids, because someone reminds me every month. Apparently, I also forget I have a small penis and that I'm good at math and science, because yet another Good Samaritan jogs my memory just as often.

I don't take nearly as much offense when that happens though; they don't mean harm (which certainly doesn't forgive their sin), but--

I see various minorities do well for themselves in society. Many are the products of immigrant parents, who have sacrificed and devoted their lives to their children. In turn, many of their children go on and settle comfortably in the middle class.

I see other minorities struggle to pull themselves out of the inner city. I ask why, but I dare not answer my own question for fear of knee-jerk repercussions. I do not claim to understand. I do not condemn. I do not patronize.

Academics (professional and self-ascribed), cannot hope to accurately attribute one's success or failure to ethnic happenstance or socioeconomic variable. Not unless they lived it. Don't tell them you "understand," or that "it's not that big of a deal." Don't give us anecdotal evidence of others who "made it." Good for the success stories; they are our role models. But don't expect a hole-in-one, when most humans, White or not, shoot par.

And You. Don't tell me I don't understand discrimination. I still feel I suffered from "reverse discrimination" during college applications. No one called me names, and no one made fun of me. In fact, I just got a nicely written, but apologetic letter telling me there were just too many qualified applicants that year. When my other friends (those that are lucky and those that are further qualified) get their diplomas from a more prestigious institution, and get a higher paying job because of that silly piece of paper, try telling me then I've never tasted something as bitter as You.

Don't over-simplify Race. Don't sweep Race under the rug. Don't exploit or ignore your own. Don't exaggerate the small scuffles, but don't shy away from the big title bouts. Fight for what is right; be patient (and grateful) for interminable change. Think before you speak, weigh before your step. Your words and your deeds may bear an even greater footprint than you anticipated.

No matter the hue or tone of our skin, our blood and our sweat are the same color, after all.